Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A Multipurpose Coffee House in North Dakota.
Stores and businesses in small towns in the Northern Plains typically tend to be smaller, have limited stock, and may be multifunctional. The idea is to have as many reasons for a person to offer patronage as possible.
Marge always wanted to have a sophisticated coffee shop in which the locals could have a cup of coffee, discuss books, the arts, or politics -- maybe even having poetry recitals from time to time. However, Wolf's Breath, ND was not San Francisco, despite relative tolerance for gays and exotic foods.
To be candid, Marge's Coffee House was in the red.
However, Marge did some marketing research, and came up with some ideas for making her business more viable by being multipurpose. Adding a tanning parlor was already taken, as was a bait shop (not good in the winter, anyway.) However, several persons expressed a longing for visiting the sites in Minneapolis.
Now Marge got focus. No, not to add a fancy mini-mall or theatre, but something more fundamental to the North Dakota psyche: a strip joint.
Now, between 5 P.M. and 9 P.M. her neighbors could repair to Marge's and drink premium coffee and watch Wanda the Tassel Dancer or Gewn on the dance pole or Miranda from South Dakota to frump around the stage wearing (mercifully) some clothes. After all, Marge's was considered the minor league whan it came to burlesque!
And after 9 P.M.? Well, her customers would have to go home to watch the 10 P.M. News and be in bed by 10:30. Or maybe later, if the wife was willing.
Marge always wanted to have a sophisticated coffee shop in which the locals could have a cup of coffee, discuss books, the arts, or politics -- maybe even having poetry recitals from time to time. However, Wolf's Breath, ND was not San Francisco, despite relative tolerance for gays and exotic foods.
To be candid, Marge's Coffee House was in the red.
However, Marge did some marketing research, and came up with some ideas for making her business more viable by being multipurpose. Adding a tanning parlor was already taken, as was a bait shop (not good in the winter, anyway.) However, several persons expressed a longing for visiting the sites in Minneapolis.
Now Marge got focus. No, not to add a fancy mini-mall or theatre, but something more fundamental to the North Dakota psyche: a strip joint.
Now, between 5 P.M. and 9 P.M. her neighbors could repair to Marge's and drink premium coffee and watch Wanda the Tassel Dancer or Gewn on the dance pole or Miranda from South Dakota to frump around the stage wearing (mercifully) some clothes. After all, Marge's was considered the minor league whan it came to burlesque!
And after 9 P.M.? Well, her customers would have to go home to watch the 10 P.M. News and be in bed by 10:30. Or maybe later, if the wife was willing.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Questions for People Who Have Time on Their Hands
A few minutes ago I proposed that people could waste a lot of time finding the answers to trivia, using whether there is a Hooters' restaurant in Paris as an example. I managed to think up a few more. Enjoy................
1. How many wearings does the typical pair of boxer shorts last?
2. Do they still make avocado-colored refrigerators?
3. What state has the largest percentage of NASCAR fans?
4. Who was Miss South Dakota in 1978?
5. Is it really true that a duck's quack cannot echo?
6. Is there a brewery that specializes in the feminist trade?
7. Can you purchase a stock-colored pink car of any manufacture?
8. Who is regarded as having the best barbecue in the country?
9. Where is the nearest place in Canada to Grand Forks that you can purchase a toilet that gives a good five-gallon flush? (no joke)
10. How many tons of trash is typically collected in New Orleans after the typical Mardi Gras?
11. How do you make a pasty? (The edible kind; aka a meat pie)
12. What kinds of decorations were used on U.S. and British planes during World War Two.
13. Are there any animal shelters that specialize in cats only?
14. What percentage of automobiles leak oil?
15. What is the most outrageous website? (a matter of opinion, obviously)
16. What are the lyrics to "Good News Week" by the Hedgehoppers Anonymous?
17. What cartoons did Dad watch back in the 1960's?
18. Where do they call it "soda," as opposed to "pop."
19. Who were all of the people to play James Bond?
20. What is the largest city without a website?
1. How many wearings does the typical pair of boxer shorts last?
2. Do they still make avocado-colored refrigerators?
3. What state has the largest percentage of NASCAR fans?
4. Who was Miss South Dakota in 1978?
5. Is it really true that a duck's quack cannot echo?
6. Is there a brewery that specializes in the feminist trade?
7. Can you purchase a stock-colored pink car of any manufacture?
8. Who is regarded as having the best barbecue in the country?
9. Where is the nearest place in Canada to Grand Forks that you can purchase a toilet that gives a good five-gallon flush? (no joke)
10. How many tons of trash is typically collected in New Orleans after the typical Mardi Gras?
11. How do you make a pasty? (The edible kind; aka a meat pie)
12. What kinds of decorations were used on U.S. and British planes during World War Two.
13. Are there any animal shelters that specialize in cats only?
14. What percentage of automobiles leak oil?
15. What is the most outrageous website? (a matter of opinion, obviously)
16. What are the lyrics to "Good News Week" by the Hedgehoppers Anonymous?
17. What cartoons did Dad watch back in the 1960's?
18. Where do they call it "soda," as opposed to "pop."
19. Who were all of the people to play James Bond?
20. What is the largest city without a website?
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
An Evening of Chamber Music
The North Central Chapter of Hell's Angels
is proud to present
An Evening of Chamber Music
featuring:
"Solfeggio"
"Kanon in D"
"Bolero"
"Toccato"
to be held in
Blair's Truck Stop and Bar
January 6, 2011
Black tie or evening gown preferred
Cocktails afterwards
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Realities of Life in North Dakota
Some person from the Sun Belt asked me little ways in which life here is different. In no attempt at subtlety, I listed a few:
1. If you leave your beer bottles outside all night during the winter, you can have a beer popsickle.
2. People do not think it strange to eat two kinds of pie for breakfast.
3. Bridal lingerie showers almost always include longjohns for a bridal gift.
4. People actually have an abiding interest in hockey.
5. The vice squad in Fargo goes off duty at 10 P.M., as the doxies leave the street.
6. Minneapolis is considered Sin City.
7. The Grand Forks Herald is the state's premier newspaper.
8. They charge admission to wedding dances in some towns.
9. Our Red River floods.
10. North Dakota was too cold for Custer, who once went AWOL.
11. Lesbians ridge on floats in parades.
12. Theodore Roosevelt and the Marquis de Mores were important state historical figures.
13. When citing famous North Dakotans, they cite Peggy Lee, Lawrence WElk, and Roger Maris.
1. If you leave your beer bottles outside all night during the winter, you can have a beer popsickle.
2. People do not think it strange to eat two kinds of pie for breakfast.
3. Bridal lingerie showers almost always include longjohns for a bridal gift.
4. People actually have an abiding interest in hockey.
5. The vice squad in Fargo goes off duty at 10 P.M., as the doxies leave the street.
6. Minneapolis is considered Sin City.
7. The Grand Forks Herald is the state's premier newspaper.
8. They charge admission to wedding dances in some towns.
9. Our Red River floods.
10. North Dakota was too cold for Custer, who once went AWOL.
11. Lesbians ridge on floats in parades.
12. Theodore Roosevelt and the Marquis de Mores were important state historical figures.
13. When citing famous North Dakotans, they cite Peggy Lee, Lawrence WElk, and Roger Maris.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Baptist Passion Check
This is a subtle touching of a guy's crotch area to see whether he is beginning to have an erection. The plan is that, if he is, to stop the deep kissing or making out.
Example: Anne stopped Tom in mid-kiss after he failed the Baptist passion check.
It takes considerably more self-control than I can muster to go this route.
Example: Anne stopped Tom in mid-kiss after he failed the Baptist passion check.
It takes considerably more self-control than I can muster to go this route.
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