As I mentioned earlier, the spectacularly inert North Dakota legislature's recent session was nicknamed "The Bikini Wax Session" after one curious bit of action that they managed to pass. But that gave me an idea: proms have themes; why can't sessions have them also. Accordingly, I have helpfully thought out some for the next several years. Now they can go to Bismarck, quickly pass on these, and spend the rest of the time pursuing happiness, North Dakota-style.
Consider these ideas as my having done my civic duty.
The Make-the-Moose-Wear-Ties Session
The Paint-the-Capital-in-Polka-Dots Session
The Make-Another-Stupid-State-Song Session
The Christmas-in-Hawaii Session
The Governor-in-a-Box Session
The We-Are-Better-Than-Montana-and-Far-Less-Crazy Session
The Invite-the-Backstreet-Boys Session
The Exile-in-Florida-and-Hangout-at-Hooters Session
The Dance-All-Night Session
The Legalize-Marijuana Session
The What-Do-We-Do-Next Session
The It's-a-Cold-Day-in-March-so-What-Else-Is-New Session
The Ugly-as-Homemade-Sin Session
The Lutherans-Who-Have-Discovered-Sin-and-Like-It-Session
The Carrion-Crow-Is-the-Official-State-Bird Session
The Thank-God-We're-Not-French Session
The We're-Honorary-Canadians Session
Was my use of the hyphens appropriate? I'm not really that interested in politics.
Hyphens are correct.
ReplyDeleteThere are great ideas for legislation; and objectives if they need to do something.
'The Lutherans-Who-Have-Discovered-Sin-and-Like-It-Session'
ReplyDeleteI hear this session went into overtime.
Another good approach might just be to go ahead and sell naming rights to legislative sessions. After all, the corporations seem to have already bought them, anyhow, and this would just make it official: here in DC, we could have the Lockheed Martin Senate Armed Services Committee, or the ConAgra House Committee on Agriculture. The possibilities are endless.
ReplyDeleteI like your idea! By giving them busywork, idle legislators have less time to come up with really stupid laws!
ReplyDeleteThe Bikini Wax Session: Did they all get one, and was it a perk for lawmakers?
This is not for Alabama, though. Our legislative dumbasses would come up with some truly awful themes.
ReplyDeleteDuickbutt, manscaping has not appeared in ND; in MN, yes! It's our winters.
ReplyDelete