"This is too stimulating!" Tom ejaculated.
"Orgasms aren't a big deal," Mary said anticlimactically.
"Tonight's just not my night," said Tom limply.
"Masturbating this way makes me gasp," Tom cried jerkingly.
"I forgot to make Tom use a condom," Mary whispered pregnantly.
"I'm not physically attracted to women," Tom said gaily.
"Please remove your hand from my bra," Mary tittered.
"Let me get a harness and leash," Tom said fetchingly.
"I get turned on by female ejaculation," Mary gushed.
"After we fuck, I feel so empty," Tom said vacuously.
"I didn't enjoy John Wayne Bobbitt's movie," Mary remembered.
"I need to see more than one person," Tom said unsteadily.
"I want both Greg and Gary in my bed," Mary said gregariously.
"I made it with a girls' softball team," Tom said asininely.
I suddenly have a desire to play softball.
ReplyDeleteThose were a hoot.
ReplyDeleteWe went through a "Tom Swifty" craze at work a year or two ago, and I collected dozens of great swifties ... the best of which are much too objectionable for polite company.
ReplyDelete