Real Meaning of Temperatures in North Dakota
60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in North Dakota plant gardens.
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in North Dakota sunbathe.
40 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in North Dakota drive with the windows down.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in North Dakota gets thicker.
20 above zero: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in North Dakota throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in North Dakota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero: People in Miami all die. People in North Dakota close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico People in North Dakota get out their winter coats.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in North Dakota are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in North Dakota let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. North Dakotan's get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.) People in North Dakota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. North Dakota public schools will open 2 hours late.