Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Friday, September 6, 2013

Signs of Prostitution

On an Italian highway frequented by prostitutes


Self-esteem issues 

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Caught in the Act

A Nebraska man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.

The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For $200, the cabby agrees.

Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife in bed with another man!


The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.

The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.’

HE paid for the Porsche I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.
HE paid for your season Cornhuskers tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for your African tour and 4x4.
HE paid for our country club membership, and, HE even pays the monthly dues!'

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks over at the cabby and says, 'What would you do?

The cabby replies, 'I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.'

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Lutheran Bikini

This is a swim suit consisting of full boys' shorts for a bottom and a sports bra top, designed to be minimally revealing and therefore not likely to trouble the pastor. Usually worn by the timid and the pious.
 
Heather went swimming in the creek while wearing a Lutheran bikini, and was roundly hooted for doing so.

 

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Amusing Fark Link

This caption linked an article in the Huffington Press:

Dakota Fanning to appear nude in upcoming film. No word if we'll be seeing South Dakota or just North Dakota

It made me smile.

The article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/31/dakota-fanning-nude-scene_n_2591745.html



Saturday, January 19, 2013

Mascotless

Because the P.C. NCAA forbids its members from having Native American mascots, the University of North Dakota is currently mascotless.

Frankly, while I think that the NCAA sucks, going mascotless is a refreshing twist instead of coming up with an NCAA-approved mascot chosen just because one is needed.  Like Arkansas State's Red Wolves, for instance.  Who has even seen one? 

And the fact that some teams have still have ethnic mascots means that the double standard is official NCAA policy.  Or do they fear the wrath of the Notre Dame crowd?

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Late Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honour of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells”. Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carol’s".


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Be Insulted by Martin Luther!

If you've been a sinner, or rebounded into Catholicism, you deserve to be chastised by Martin Luther.  Go to this site and let Martin take out his umbrage on you:


http://ergofabulous.org/luther/



 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The Bus for the Bowling Teams

Two bowling teams, one Swedish, one Norwegian, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament. The Swedish team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the Norwegian team rides on the top level.

The Swedish team, down below, is wooping it up and having a great time until one of them realizes he doesn't hear anything from the Norwegians upstairs. So, he decides to investigate.

When the Swede reaches the top, he finds the Norwegian team staring straight ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

"What's going on up here?" asks the Swede. "We're having a great time downstairs!"

"Ya," screams a terrified Norwegian, "but you've got a driver!"