Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Sin City, Part Two

Having reviewed the various claimants to the title of 'Sin City' recently, we now have to explore our various options in Eastern North Dakota/Western Minnesota.  Let's face it, if people from the coasts think of our neck of the plains at all, 'sin city' does not come easily to mind.  Therefore, any touristy initiatives into this area need careful consideration.

First of all, this calls for an occasion for the various cities to pool their resources and develop the infrastructure for whatever vices we choose to adopt as our specialty.  Grand Forks or Mankato or Fargo make a small footprint by themselves.

Secondly, we must train our vice providers appropriately so as to be able to compete for the discriminating consumer.  For example, if we adopt prostitution as our 'sin,' we need to hire the best tarts from Minneapolis or even Des Moines!  Likewise for gluttony.  Lutefisk and hot dish sounds like a nonstarter.  We need to ramp up our cuisine!  Anger is hard, given that we live in a land of Cockaigne.

Vanity is a possibility.  We can be vain about our cold weather.  We can envy Chicago or Boston, with its culture, New Orleans or San Francisco with its fine food, or Loa Angeles, with its preternaturally thin people and endless sun.

Sloth seems to be the best bet.  We don't have to do anything.  Who knows, some moneybags will come along and prepare us the run for Congress!


  1. Perhaps Fargo can have built some gaudy casinos to attract Dakota pleasure-seekers.

  2. '...hire the best tarts...'

    I volunteer for that committee.

  3. Fargo can specialize in lust, Grand Forks in sloth, and Moorhead in Gluttony.

  4. Yep, go with Sloth. There's plenty of money out there, and heaven knows you don't have to do anything once you get to Congress.