Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Sensitivity on the Farm

Us residents of agricultural states have become increasingly sensitive to the needs of our companion animals, as behooves us in the early part of the 21st century. Consider this. We have been far too callous about how we treat farm animals in the past.

For instance, our friends the cows should be properly clothed. Actually, this form of sensitivity was originally developed in the 1930's by Walt Disney, who had Clarabelle the Cow wear a dress. There are nice cow bras available for full-figured bovines. And a nice frock might make Bossy not feel so udderly underclothed.

As for milking, you farmers should not just proceed right away, but instead properly follow the "go only to first base" rule. Send her flowers and pay her courtesies before asking her permission for taking such liberties!

And tell her you love her afterwards. I'm sure that your high school English teachers and your ministers would be proud of you.


  1. I'm glad I went back and read this. This made the best laugh I've had in a while.