Okay, the agony has gone on long enough, there's a time to stop being stubborn. The North Dakota legislature didn't need to get into the act by passing legislation to counter the NCAA's requirement that UND replace its nickname from the Fighting Sioux to some P.C. team name!!First off, the NCAA is a bunch of horses' asses: the Fighting Sioux is not offensive. The logo (above) is attractive and stalwart. not like the cartoonish one that the Cleveland Indians use. Also, the NCAA is selective. What about the Notre Dame Fighting Irish or the University of Louisiana at Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns? Where's the consistency? Maybe it's okay, if using a group in a team nickname constitutes ridiculing them, then is it okay to ridicule the Irish or the Cajuns??? But wait -- will U. of Illinois have to stop being the Illini, U. of Utah have to stop being the Utes, or Florida State stop being the Seminoles?No, my response is strictly practical. the University of North Dakota is not going to win this one. Drawing a line in the sand is futile!!!Still, nuts to the NCAA! Cut our losses, and come up with some hopefully noncorny team name,
A writer in The Huffington Post did an actual field test regarding the use of vodka in tampons. In a nutshell, he used herself as a subject. The effects may be overrated in terms of actually causing people to get high. In fact, using a tampon results in a lot of spillage and wet undies or flooring when it's inserted. However, the intrepid writer who tried it out under three different conditions indicated that it burned considerably when taken in that fashion.For me? No thanks.http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/danielle-crittenden/vodka-tampons_b_1105433.html
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...
"Hi, my name is John, it's winter in North Dakota, and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
News reports from Phoenix suggest that teenagers are getting high by utilizing tampons which are soaked in vodka first before inserted in their vaginas. This method appears to be very effective due to the fact that the alcohol gets absorbed directly and quickly into the bloodstream without any barrier or stomach acid to mitigate its effects. A Super Tampon can hold the equivalent of a shot of vodka. Definitely, this can cause the user to walk funny!
This new kind of way of getting drunk is not limited to girls: guys find a similar success if they were to insert a vodka-soaked Tampon into their rectums. You might say that the vodka rectumed!The esthetics of alcohol consumption are very primitive: straight spirits are used in the Tampons. No one administers herself a vaginally-absorbed screwdriver or piledriver or Harvey Wallbanger.I'm exceedingly dubious about this. Not so much the fact, but the advisability of doing so. One's lady parts should be treated with more delicacy, and the long-range consequences of this unorthodox means of intaking alcohol are unknown.The practice of doing this may have a consequence. Have you ever had to be checked out by a male cashier when you're buying Tampons? No imagine the look you would get if you buy both vodka and Tampons!The teens in Phoenix have a misconception, though. Taking in alcohol in this manner does not foil the Breathanalyzer test!
A dog-related store in Seattle used a very edgy name which some locals objected to a few years ago when it opened. I think it was cute, myself. I don't know if it was female dogs only.
Maybe they went over the top with naming this product:
Or is that wishful thinking? What do you think? Or maybe we shouldn't go there.
If you can't start a conversation without mentioning the weather . . .
If you say Uff-da and Fe-da . . .
If you understand ALL the uses of the word "Uff-Da" . . .
If a stiff wind means gas from a dead guy . . .
If you understand that "Yah y'betch yah" means either "I agree" or "You're full of it" and you know the difference . . .
If you think everyone from a different state has an accent . . .
If you can identify a Minnesota accent . . .
If you bake with soda and drink pop . . .
If you pronounce it Nor'Dakoda . . .
If you consider Spanish a foreign language . . .
If you routinely end sentences with prepositions, i.e., "Do you want to come with?" . . .
If you think someone from northern Indiana has a southern accent and wouldn't really know what winter is (we do; it's just that winter there is a 3-month season--as are spring and fall) . . .
If you say "uff-da" as an exclamation . . .
If you have ever said, "Cold weather keeps out the riff-raff" . . .
If you call the grass between the sidewalk and the curb a berm . . .If your bikini was last worn while on Spring Break in Texas two years ago . . .
If you don't believe you sound like the actors in the movie Fargo . . .
If you state the obvious--"Oh, I see you are in town today" . . .If you follow hockey and you're not Canadian . . . If you regard Minneapolis as "Sin City" . . .
. . . then you must be from North Dakota.
