Funny Florida Laws

-It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
-Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless                -Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
-It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
-When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
-You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM on Thursday.  Save your nocturnal farts for the other six days.
-It is considered an offense to shower naked.
-You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
-You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
-Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
-The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
-One may not commit any "unnatural acts" with another person.
-Unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and live together in the same residence.
-Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.
-Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
-It is illegal to sell your children.
-Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
-A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
-If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.


In Pensacola citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.


In Key West, chickens are considered a 'protected species.'

Who's Bra?

It was track season in my junior year of high school and the girls had to practice with the boys the unit on track and field.  I hated these mixed classes; I felt like a cow. 

Because it was the day before wash day, I was down to a tight-fitting, constricting strapless bra.  It posed no problem under my PE clothes.  We stretched we as a group and then went out to the track to learn how to toss the discus.  It was really hard and unpleasant the discus was really heavy. It was then that I realized that my bra had come looser and was hanging by not all the hooks!  Oh, crap!

I couldn't re-hook it now because all the boys were watching, so when it came my turn I grabbed the discus and got ready to throw. My back was aching and I felt like I was going to puke - hoping that my bra wouldn't come off.  As soon as I threw it, things felt more comfortable.  Oh no!  My bra made a quick snapping noise, slid off from under my gym shirt, and landed on the ground.

It was pink and lacy.

That gave everyone something to talk about for a day. 

I got over it.