Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Dominatrix from North Dakota

Cynthia was determined to make it big in L.A. despite being a P.E. major from North Dakota. Admittedly, coming from there provided a distinct disadvantage; after all, what associations do people in entertainent make when they think of North Dakota? Yes, Peggy Lee, Roger Maris, and Lawrence Welk. Now it's hard when the most famous resident of your state is named after a shell! However, she felt that she had the talent, grit, and beauty to make it in Tinseltown.

Now, in order to make ends meet, she strayed to the seamier side of making a living, temporarily. However, she failed spectacularly as a pole dancer and as a tassel dancer. Once, she briefly served as a bouncer! How low could she stray? Now it so happened that one of the more dissolute agents she happened to call on suggested that, given her Brunhildesque proportions, she could obtain gainful employment as a dominatrix!

Her figure was helped by her avocation: Cynthia loved to cook back-home North Dakota food. She was considered an expert chef back home.

Now Cynthia did not know anything about the dominance-submission trade; but an afternoon on the internet opened up her eyes as to its possibilities. First, she noted that dominatrixes tended to be exotic, or at least present themselves as exotic. Having the right costume was important; and she had to position herself well. Especially often-found was Teutonic exotic dominatrixes. There's something about German girls, maybe, that brings out the reflexive submissiveness in Hollywood types.

And she purchased the necessary boots, rubber garments, whips, chains, handcuffs, and gags. It was clearly a big capital expense.

So she became Helga, Mistress to the Stars; and got a small following. However, she realized soon that Germanic dommes were a cliché long over-cast in Hollywood. Clearly, new kinkiness had to be uncovered. Finally, it hit her. She could be her own North Dakotan self!

So our girl now re-cast herself as Kristen the Fearsome Dominatrix from North Dakota, after her favorite literary character (Kristen Lavransdatter)! And she wore cut-off Daisy Dukes. And was not sparing of the whip. And if her customer was especially naughty, she had her own punishment.

Lutefisk.

However, being the kind girl from Minot that she was deep down inside, she offered full bed and breakfast services with her treatment.

But, being a dominatrix, she couldn't resist: breakfast was a full Dakota farm breakfast, served at 4:30 A.M. With two full desserts!

7 comments:

  1. This was AWESOME! I roared with laughter!

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  2. One of the best humor pieces I read!

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  3. You managed to make a dominatrix funny. Bravo!

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  4. Thanks for the good words, readers!

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  5. Now that's kinkiness we can relate to!

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  6. I have just installed iStripper, and now I can watch the hottest virtual strippers stripping on my taskbar.

    ReplyDelete