Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Professor Renfroe, Guerilla Botanist

One of the more eccentric professors at a North Dakotan state university was known for two things: his almost reflexive championing of radical causes, and his penchant for seeking out the exotic in horticulture. With regard to radical causes, he was a card-carrying member of Citizens for Fair Play to Quebec, the Antinudist Foundation, the Know Damn Little Party, Marxists for Christ, the Anti-Designated Hitter Rule Society, the Prairie Dog Antidiscrimination League, and others. And his forays into botany were well-known. He singlehandedly developed the cold-weather resistant form of kudzu, the snapless snap bean, winter-resistant strains of ragweed, and other strains of plant life!

However, everyone was dumbfounded at his latest idea: to develop a strain of bananas that could be grown in North Dakota! Now several old-timers remember a song that states that you cannot put bananas in a refrigerator, so they assumed that refrigerator storage was the objective of his efforts.

It was more sinister than that.

Professor Renfroe was a member of a dissident group that south North Dakota independence. Now, no one should be surprised, as the good Dr. Renfroe could be expected to champion the most bizarre of ideas! So, how did developing a cold-resistant strain of banana trees come into this scheme?

It's simple. He wanted North Dakota to be the northernmost of the banana republics. And he figured that there would be a heavy export market to Chicago: there the politicians are always monkeying around!

4 comments:

  1. Is this a commentary on North Dakotan politics?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I saw this coming, but I fully enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It was a comment on politics, state and national.

    ReplyDelete