Tuesday, September 28, 2010

A Modest Proposal for a State Name Change

It's been suggested from time to time that the state of North Dakota be simply known as 'Dakota.' This would produce an instant rise in average temperature of twelve degrees. The state would save some as-yet-undermined amount of money through reduced printing costs, and tourism will flourish as International travelers come to this new destination.

Hipness will suddenly reign. No longer will Jared Fogle making an appearance be what the national media reports as N. D. news. No, No Dice any more . The Grand Forks branch of Victoria's Secret will not primarily stock lurid red violet long johns, small towns will not be beset with maurading turkeys, and 'Fever' will not be required daily fare on the radio right after the swine report.

Look for the Bismarck fashion scene to be reported on Style. And the Minot Film Festival attracting all the beautiful people from as far away as Paris or Tokyo. And the neat little bistros on the main drag! Yes, good peeps, we will have it all. What's in a name? A bunch, you betcha!

What about South Dakota? Well, they seem to be happy in their southness since 1889: they can retain their own name. Or, they might want to throw their lot with their newly emergent progressive neighbors to the north! Let's stretch out a neighborly hand to aid them. Besides, we need a Riviera for the Dakotatrash to hang out, gamble, and wear skimpy Lutheran bikini swim suits!


On the other hand, we have the sterling example of the PRNK. North Korea, under the leadership of Dear Leader Kim Il-Jong, often styles itself "Best Korea.'

Now that's an alternative idea. Best Dakota. I like it.

3 comments:

  1. I think that's a neat idea. Plus the name change would piss off the South Dakotans, wouldn't it?

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