Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Themes for Legislative Sessions

As I mentioned earlier, the spectacularly inert North Dakota legislature's recent session was nicknamed "The Bikini Wax Session" after one curious bit of action that they managed to pass.   But that gave me an idea: proms have themes; why can't sessions have them also. Accordingly, I have helpfully thought out some for the next several years. Now they can go to Bismarck, quickly pass on these, and spend the rest of the time pursuing happiness, North Dakota-style.
Consider these ideas as my having done my civic duty.
The Make-the-Moose-Wear-Ties Session

The Paint-the-Capital-in-Polka-Dots Session

The Make-Another-Stupid-State-Song Session

The Christmas-in-Hawaii Session

The Governor-in-a-Box Session

The We-Are-Better-Than-Montana-and-Far-Less-Crazy Session

The Invite-the-Backstreet-Boys Session

The Exile-in-Florida-and-Hangout-at-Hooters Session

The Dance-All-Night Session

The Legalize-Marijuana Session

The What-Do-We-Do-Next Session

The It's-a-Cold-Day-in-March-so-What-Else-Is-New Session

The Ugly-as-Homemade-Sin Session

The Lutherans-Who-Have-Discovered-Sin-and-Like-It-Session

The Carrion-Crow-Is-the-Official-State-Bird Session

The Thank-God-We're-Not-French Session

The We're-Honorary-Canadians Session

Was my use of the hyphens appropriate? I'm not really that interested in politics.


  1. Hyphens are correct.

    There are great ideas for legislation; and objectives if they need to do something.

  2. 'The Lutherans-Who-Have-Discovered-Sin-and-Like-It-Session'

    I hear this session went into overtime.

  3. Another good approach might just be to go ahead and sell naming rights to legislative sessions. After all, the corporations seem to have already bought them, anyhow, and this would just make it official: here in DC, we could have the Lockheed Martin Senate Armed Services Committee, or the ConAgra House Committee on Agriculture. The possibilities are endless.

  4. I like your idea! By giving them busywork, idle legislators have less time to come up with really stupid laws!

    The Bikini Wax Session: Did they all get one, and was it a perk for lawmakers?

  5. This is not for Alabama, though. Our legislative dumbasses would come up with some truly awful themes.

  6. Duickbutt, manscaping has not appeared in ND; in MN, yes! It's our winters.