Occasionally Seen in Florida

Well, almost! 
There's a sizeable cultural shock
that goes with encountering the
relative relaxed modesty and
alcohol intake in South Florida.


I'm still working on it.

A No-Show for the Prom, But Still a Class Act

Talia Maselli of Newington, Connecticut wanted to go to her high school prom only if she could go with "the most delightful man in all of America"; so she wrote to invite Vice President Joe Biden!

Biden, very much married, couldn't make it, but sent a handwritten card and a corsage he picked out — baby's breath, white roses and red, white and blue ribbons.  Talia received this corsage the day before the scheduled prom. 

She thought that Biden was funny and "would be fun to hang out with."

She had threatened, if he turned her down, to invite Speaker John Boehner.

Joe Biden and Talia Maselli may meet at the White House in July.

This Republican girl thinks that he was really cool!

http://www.tampabay.com/news/bizarre/the-skinny-biden-a-no-show-for-teens-prom-but-sends-corsage/2180525

The C-String

I just want to report on the most outlandish innovation in swimwear that has hit the Florida beaches: the C-string!

Think of this as a substitute for the bikini bottom.  If you thought the string bikini or the thong reached levels of daring, this  little nothing pushes things a bit further.

I'm not sure; but I think it might have originated in South America, where there seems to be a competition for making swimwear increasingly daring.  Let's say that this pushes the envelope a bit further.  It must take a special act of faith to presume that it would stay in place with any kind of use!

Toto, I don't think we're in North Dakota any more!

I do not plan to go in this direction.  A granny bikini is daring enough, especially considering that I have an ample backside.

Three Blondes

Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.


The first blonde said, “Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey.”


“Nooooo,” said St. Peter. “You don’t get in.”


The second blonde said, “Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus’ being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other.”


“Nooooo,” said St. Peter. “You don’t get in, either.”


The third blonde said, “Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it.”


“Very good!” said St. Peter.


The blonde continued. “Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball.”


St. Peter fainted!

Ole Testifies in Court

In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" asked the lawyer.

Ole responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Ole said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie".

Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Vell as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and vas driving her down the highway ven this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I vas thrown into one ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, 'How are you feeling?'"

"Now vat the HELL vould YOU say?"

Bras on Broadway

An annual event in Fargo, ND is the "Bras on Broadway."  On this occasion, donors for breast cancer research are asked to donate $5 and an old bra which will be hung on the Hotel Donaldson.  As you can see, lots of Fargo women donated their bras to the cause of this research.

I figure that my hooters can spare one for the cause.

Sleeping on the Sofa

In general, living with my  parents has not posed any problems; but there are occasional bumpy spots now and then.  One of these that could have been painful occurred recently, when my boyfriend Matt and I fell asleep while watching television.


It was due to simple exhaustion, we both work long, unusual hours.


Anyway, we were cuddled on the sofa when he fell asleep while having his hand in my tee.  I was utterly relaxed, and I thought I'd savor the moment by closing my eyes also.  That was not a good plan.


Several hours later, he woke me up and we found that we were covered by a light blanket.  This totally surprised us; but then I figured out that Mom and Dad came home and one of them covered us up.


Just like when I was a little girl and I would fall asleep on the sofa.


Matt went home, not aware of what had transpired while we were asleep.


The next day, I expected a scolding, as my parents are proper Lutherans.  We never discussed their house rules, so I had been going on the assumption that they were the same as when I was a teen and very clearly we had been making out.  Desultorily, it seems, as we both fell asleep! 


However, my Mom said, "Maybe you and Matt would be more comfortable in your room?"   She definitely loosened up in the past few years.