Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Lutefisk Conspiracy

The extent of this cynical plot is not widely known throughout the USA because it is seemingly isolated in Minnesota, North Dakota, and Wisconsin. However, the conspirators have been plotting to undermine our lives by foisting off on an unsuspecting public an inedible substance, lutefisk. One cannot attend a covered dish supper in those beknighted regions without encountering this vile substance. Consider all of the wonderful cuisine of the region: boiled cabbage, corn bread, Swedish meat balls, pancakes, three bean salad; why do these seemingly respectable Lutheran housewives produce such a noxious dish?

I have a theory; let me know what you think of this. Lutefisk is a regional joke played on tourists and other visitors like Haggis in Scotland or grits in the South. No one locally really eats lutefisk any more than Scots eat haggis or Southerners eat grits: they make it to play a morbid prank on unsuspecting tourists.

Now I am researching the rumors regarding scrod and calamari. When I first heard of the former, I thought that I had received an indecent proposal. As for the latter, I decided that I have no quarrel with relatives of the octopi.


  1. Southerners DO eat grits! I had some with breakfast.

  2. I suspected as much. On the other hand, my grandmother liked jellied haddock at Christmas.